JELLYFISHATTACK

2007-04-13T16:15:00.000-04:00

Bruce Cockburn

Different When It Comes To You

2007-04-13T16:13:00.000-04:00

the eights

2007-04-13T16:11:00.000-04:00

If a tree falls

acoustic live

poor sound

2007-04-13T16:08:00.000-04:00

you pay tour money

live

2007-04-13T16:06:00.000-04:00

Bruck Cockburn, If I had a Rocket Launcher

acoustic version

2007-04-13T16:04:00.000-04:00

pacing the cage

2007-04-13T15:55:00.000-04:00

Bruce Cockburn-Dream Like Mine

2007-04-13T15:49:00.000-04:00

BRUCE COCKBURN - If A Tree Falls

2007-04-13T15:48:00.000-04:00

Bruce Cockburn

2007-04-13T15:47:00.000-04:00

bruce cockburn

live

2007-04-13T15:46:00.000-04:00

Bruce Cockburn-Great Big Love

2007-04-01T03:03:00.000-04:00

Ric Mercer Talking with Americans

2007-03-31T22:47:00.000-04:00

The Tragically Hip - Blow at High Dough

2007-03-31T01:51:00.000-04:00

we're all here

Bowser and Blue

2007-03-31T01:46:00.000-04:00

(former) prime minister jean chretien explains...

:D

2007-03-20T01:27:00.000-04:00

The Beatles -- Hey Bulldog

2007-03-20T01:26:00.000-04:00

Ringo Starr Photograph

2007-03-20T01:20:00.000-04:00

George Harrison - All those years ago

2007-03-20T01:16:00.000-04:00

George Harrison - When we was fab (1987)

2007-03-20T01:15:00.000-04:00

Helter Skelter

2007-03-20T01:11:00.000-04:00

the beatles - HELTER SKELTER

2007-03-20T01:06:00.000-04:00

Paul McCartney - Helter Skelter

2007-03-19T20:52:00.000-04:00

The Beatles (Paul McCartney) - Back in the USSR

2007-03-19T17:44:00.000-04:00

Paul McCartney - Take it Away

2007-03-19T17:06:00.000-04:00

Paul McCartney & Wings - Band on The Run

2007-03-17T02:56:00.000-04:00

Weird Al Yankovic -Another One Rides the Bus

2007-03-17T02:47:00.000-04:00

Tom Snyder and Condomania

2007-03-17T02:35:00.000-04:00

Paul Mcartney- Maybe I'm amazed

2007-03-17T02:31:00.000-04:00

Paul McCartney - Uncle Albert

2007-03-17T02:27:00.000-04:00

Paul McCartney - We Got Married (1989)

2007-03-02T23:45:00.000-05:00

Paul McCartney - Live In Japan 1990　6/13

2007-03-02T23:32:00.000-05:00

Paul McCartney ~ Hope Of Deliverance

2007-03-02T23:27:00.000-05:00

Paul McCartney - Off The Ground

2007-03-02T23:23:00.000-05:00

Paul McCartney - Mull of Kintyre (Live '78)

2007-03-02T23:18:00.000-05:00

mull of kintyre - paul Mccartney & wings

2007-03-02T23:15:00.000-05:00

Paul McCartney & Wings - Mull Of Kintyre (2nd version)

2007-03-02T23:13:00.000-05:00

Paul McCartney & Wings - Wildlife

2007-03-01T23:09:00.000-05:00

Paul McCartney and Wings - Helen Wheels

2007-03-01T23:06:00.000-05:00

Paul McCartney - Take it Away

It's Just Too Hot!

2006-08-01T18:25:00.000-04:00

Here's a great book for you, Not Dead Yet, by Robert Buckman.

Scambaiting is Fun

2006-06-26T16:27:00.000-04:00

Last night, I finally began my new hobby. I am a scambaiter. The idea is to present oneself as a hapless fool, a plum ready for harvest, whilst all the while wasting the scammer's time and hopefully engaging in witty banter that makes the scammer look foolish.

To start scamming, one needs a sense of humour to devise a great alter ego, e.g., one could become Mr. Oliver Klothesoff or Ms. Irene Joy Bukkake. Then one needs a gmail account. A fake business website would finish setting the stage. Finally, one merely needs to google guestbooks for the scammer's tag "mugu guyman" and leave your 'name' and 'email' in these guestbooks.

I signed 2 mugu guyman guestbooks last night and I have 69 replies from scammers. I'm spoilt for choice. My alter ego isn't very clever, but I think I'll make him a fake contracting website. I wonder which city he lives in? I wonder which state? I think I'll head on down to 50megs.com and get him an impressive site.

Try it yourself and get a mentor at 419eater.com.

Mr. Dressup!

2006-06-16T15:00:00.000-04:00

Is nothing sacred? Mr. Dressup is going off the air. This is depressing. I suppose some genius will 'kill' Mr. Rogers reruns next.

British Special Forces to Use Batwings

2006-06-07T12:49:00.000-04:00

This is too GI Joe vs. Cobra cool.

Video of Batwings in action.

Terrorism in Canada

2006-06-06T01:40:00.000-04:00

Once, not so long ago, Canada spawned her own terrorists and murderers. A state of apprehended insurrection was found, and the War Measures Act was invoked. One wonders what Harper would say if asked how far would he be willing to go to extend law and order in society? Trudeau was a man to whom you could cling in a moment of crisis.

CBC Clip
"Just Watch Me"

The MAGIC in a Moth Ball

2006-05-27T23:31:00.000-04:00

Reichold Chemicals.

Apparently the moth ball is a many splendored masterwork of mankind. It may be related to explosions and red paint - or the fact that neither of these two pursuits would be possible with moth-eaten uniforms. Or is that really blood? Do you think the artist smoked mothballs? Is that Hailey's comet?

Personally, I prefer the slogan "Better Living Through Chemicals".

Leave your thoughts for posterity

2006-05-26T21:31:00.000-04:00

Everyone gets 6,000 characters without censorship of any kind. Will anything else you do last 52,000 years or more?

Yucca Mountain Blues

2006-05-19T00:25:00.000-04:00

Unusual concept markers proposed to warn future generations to keep out of the radioactive waste storage facility at Yucca Mountain.

Will this ward off disaster for the next 400 generations?

Let's Go to Lileks.com

2006-05-17T20:48:00.000-04:00

Goodbye Lou

2006-05-03T21:08:00.000-04:00

The Louis Rukeyser Wink

by Ed Bronstein

My TV time is Friday night, when viewing's at its peak.
It's then I watch uplifted, the famous Wall $treet Week.
But as each show is endine, my heart begins to sink,
for I dread the final moment when poor Louis has to wink.

Yes, Louis, Lou Rukeyser, a fascinating guy,
but as he ends each program, something happens to his eye,
a momentary spasm, I don't know what to think,
all I know is that I worry waiting for the wink.

I've watched the show for years and years, but still I am not inured.
And hope in vain each Friday night tthe poor eye will be cured,
but, in truth, I'd likely miss it, so for now a toast I'll drink
To Wall $treet Week forever, and that never ending wink.

Whatever Happened to the Car Fairy?

2006-04-21T16:06:00.000-04:00

My Dreamboats

I put a rust flake under my pillow last night, but the Car Fairy didn't bring me a 1959 Series 62 cherry red convertible - and she didn't bring me a Biarritz either. Did she forget?

This gorgeous 1959 Series 62 sold for $55,000 US.

Damn, look at those fins! Take that Lexus, Mercedes, BMW, Audi, Jaguar, Honda, Toyota....

Just look at that cockpit!

Factory air condioning, power steering, power windows....

A 1959 Eldorado Biarritz

Biarritz exterior

Maybe one day....

9/11 Tapes

2006-04-17T00:48:00.000-04:00

These tapes are just the worst things I've ever heard. 911 calls by Mellisa Doi and Kevin Cosgrove. Horrible. 2001 seems like yesterday.

Beaters

2006-04-03T20:14:00.000-04:00

How Not to Tow a Car

You might be driving a beater if...

Any part of the car is held on by string, rope, wire, duct tape, or zip ties.
Any window glass has been replaced with a garbage bag.
You have to leave your window open so you can reach inside to open the driver’s door.
Your car has different colored body panels.
Your car has exposed primer or Bondo.
You drove on the donut spare until it wore out.
None of your tires match.
One or more of your bumpers is missing.
Your foot slips off the brake pedal frequently because the cover is missing.
You never change your oil because you go through at least a case of it every 3000 miles.
You have to check ALL your underhood fluid levels every time you stop for gas.
You have to add engine oil more often than you have to fill the gas tank.
Your floorboard is a small sheet of plywood.
One of your taillights is covered with red tape.
Your antenna is a coat hanger.
Your car bounces for a minute after you stop.
You have tears in your seats and/or carpet.
Your gas tank leaks if you fill it more than half full.
Your door lock cylinder has been punched out.
One or more of your inner door panels is missing.
You can check your oil but your gas gauge doesn’t work anymore.
You tie your trunk lid closed.
Your headliner is held up with thumb tacks.
You’ve used Stop Leak in your car.
It takes two to “pop” your hood.
You have to “pump” your brakes to stop.
People think your car is on fire when you aren’t moving.
You’ve pounded out a body panel with a sledgehammer and left it that way.
Your steering wheel is turned to the left or right when you’re driving straight down the road.
You have to wrap the seat belt through the door handle to hold it closed.
Your windshield washer is a spray bottle of Windex.
Your car rattles over every bump.
Your windshield has scratches from a broken wiper blade.
Your mechanic points out a problem with your car and you say, “I was wondering what that noise was!”
Your car has holes from where emblems fell off.
You disconnected your heater core rather than fixing it since it was leaking.
You drive around with a tow bar attached to your front bumper.
You have to lift your door to close it.
You’ve attached a drawer pull anywhere on your car as a handle.
Your car has splash guards but some are missing.
Most of the cars in the junk yard look more road worthy than your own.
Your windshield wipers "park" in the middle of your windshield.
Your engine runs on fewer cylinders than it has.
Your car leaves behind it a trail of parts and/or rust as you drive down the road.
Your car is so rusty you can throw a cat through it.
Swiss Cheese calls and it wants some of its holes back.
Your car "stillruns" for a few minutes after you turn it off.
The guys on MTV's "Pimp My Ride" won't touch it.
Hey, those aren't holes in the floor, that's the self-cleaning ash tray.
You've used old license plates to patch holes in the floor.
The police pull you over and ask if the car is roadworthy.
The gas in the tank is worth more than the car.
You paid for the car with beer instead of cash.
You have to debate whether fixing a flat is a worthy investment vs junking it.
The car came with a 'salvage' title.
You don't care how close anyone parks next to you.
Friends joke that rust holds it together.
When it quits running you call the junkyard instead of AAA.
It leaks a quart of ATF a day whether you drive it or not.
Strangers ask if you are going to enter it in the demolition derby at the fair.
You don't care if beer gets spilled inside.
Anything over fifty and the shimmy is so bad you have to slow down
You donn't lock your car or roll up the windows when you park "downtown".
People draw smiley faces in the oxidized paint.
When your E-brake is a brick
The car hasn't been washed since Bush was elected-the OLDER Bush!
you don't wash your car for the dirt is holding it together
You carry wire coat hangers in the trunk, just in case you need to hold something back together.
Your carpet caught fire from it laying on top of the muffler.
Repair materials are more from Home Depot than AutoZone.
The car stereo is an old boombox with a wire coat hanger antenna and it's belted in on the passenger side seat.
you have never opened the hood for the 4 years you owned it because you were scared.
it won't meet your $100 reserve on ebay.
Your Headlamps fly off after a hard brake, and hit the car infront of you.
It sounds like a pissed off weed-eater because your exhaust has fallen off.
You WANT somebody to steal it!
Thieves return your car because its not worth stripping or stealing, or they leave it abandoned two blocks away.
Your bumper stickers are covering the rust spots and missing paint.
You were denied a trade in at Carmax!
You've been asked serveral times if you needed a tow truck even though your car runs.
You can cook an egg on the dash because your car is an oven on wheels with no a/c.
In the summer time it is hotter inside your car then outside.
People ask you when you are going to get a new paint job, and you reply "not until the paint finishes falling off"
You've become a certified mechanic because your constantly repairing it.
You know more flaws about the car then the manufacturer does.
You weren't charged for any repairs at the dealership because of the "condition" your vehicle is in.
People think you live out of your car bacause you've never cleaned it.
You've stopped to ask someone if they need a ride, and they tell you they'd guarantee that they'd make it home walking rather than riding in your car.
Something Falls off and your first reaction is "Duct Tape can fix that"
your power windows wont go up or down
your AC when on max just shoots heat
Your Date is embarrest rideng in your car and never calls you again or is "never" there
Your car is so old the value started going up
your steering is so craped out when you turn the wheel the body of the car turns not the actual car
Your impressed with 10MPG on the highway
your exhast is louder than your radio
if it backfires more than once a second
when 4 people get in your car the rear goes so low you hit bumps at speeds above 5mph literaly
your wiring is so bad when you rev your car (like you can) you pop the ligths
you consider wire wheel hub caps Bling Bling
you can start your car with out the key
your 8 track tape wont come out so your stuck listing to the Beach Boys Kokomo
you have emblems that dont match your car
you broadsided a honda and were crying about a scratch in your bumper while the honda needs the jaws of life
your wirng consits of crapy computer parts
your odomitor goes to 120 but the car ratles to bad past 30mph (and your losing to many parts)
you put your car in the paper and put OBO (offensivly bad odor)
your dash ligths are still on after you took the fuse out
95% of your car is bondo
the bondo on your car is coverd by bondo
you know all the above is true and you still drive you car
you love how your 8 track tapes cost $25 cents @ goodwill
your exhast is SO loud that you sound like your going 200mph when your barely going 20mph
the wood sideng on your car came off so u got ply wood
you pore doller store fluids in your car and tell poeple it adds hp
the white walls on your tires are coming off in places
you start your car and ignore the Engine hot Ligth, Generator
Your speedometer doesn't work so you are at a loss for words when you get pulled over
Cops never give you a ticket because they figure you can't afford it
World War 2 Vets hear you coming and go get their rifles thinking that a Japanese Zero is coming
You have to manually flick your turn signal off and on when making turns.
You put your favorite tape in the radio and it won't play and it won't come out.
You don't take it through the car wash because you get sprayed with the hot was even when the window is up
You mention the gas in the tank when selling the car
Your high beams haven't worked since 1985.
Your fuel gage hasn't worked since 1975.
you painted your car with a roller and housepaint
The 4 barrels are disconnected to "get better gas mileage"
remote keyless entry means you broke the door handle and you have to use the wire off of your rc car remote control to "jimmy" the lock
the huge dent in the quarter panel has been there so long you forgot it wasn't a factory option.
your gas tank is a 5 gallon can mounted near the antenna.
The horn honks when you turn the steering wheel
The beer cans become part of the decor
When no one, and I mean no one, can guess the year, make or model of the car
You've been towed so many times the tow truck driver invites you and the wife over for dinner
You are relying on RainX to keep the rain off the windshield cause only passenger wiper works
Your wife refuses to drive it and would rather walk
Your kids won't drive it to high school five miles away and would rather ride the school bus
You have to hotwire the car to get it started
People driving beaters look at you and say, "WOW! What a beater!"
when you open the door it falls off
you have four diffrent hub caps
when you get in you hit your head on the roof and your head goes right through
when your getting towed,the chain snaps and your car goes rumbling down the flat bed and smashes into oncoming traffic
every body panel is a diffrent color
You know you need to add oil when the color of the blue smoke changes.
Nobody ever tries to cut you off in heavy trafic and they never tailgate you.
only one door opens
If your car runs on Gerbil Power
If the name AMC Pacer makes you Drool!!
You don't need drugs because of the exhaust fumes.
your company tells you not to park in the company lot due to Environmental Protection Agency rulings
Your Grand Parents (or Parents) remember when your car was new
your car stalls at an idle--and you tell your friends it's a gas saving feature
Your aftermarket am/fm/cass with no knobs or faceplate falls out of the dash if you hit the brakes too hard.
You have 3 hubcaps on the car, and not one matches the others
If it's worth more as scrap then what you originally paid for it.
your gas tank is a 5 gallon paint bucket in the back seat with a hose running into the trunk...
you can fit more in your trunk than a new pickup can in the bed...
any part of the dashboard/console is missing
you neglect putting new parts on it because you want to see if it lasts the winter...
you have more than one spare tire
it was ever a taxi cab...ever
The passenger seat is now a rumbler due to the massive holes in your exhaust pipe.
buying a new set of tires quadruples the value of the car.
the trunk lid pops up when you hit a bump in the road.
one of the windows falls inside the door when you hit a bump in the road.
you need to ask someone for a jump start more than 17 days per month
they stopped making replacement parts for your car.
garbage IS the carpet!
tow trucks follow you around like vultures
Your Car is older than You!!!!!!!!!!
The pickup bed is held on by gravity.
You refer to your car as "the money Pit"
you buy moter oil in 5 quart jugs
Your neighbors complain that your car is hurting their property values
your hubcaps come from wallmart
The seat falls through the floor when you sit on it.
Your temperature guage is permentally stuck at the HOT mark
If your mullet gets stuck to the ceiling.
You bought it off of Red Green
If you keep a coat hanger wired under the car to use as a spare door key when you lock yourself out of the car.
The coat hanger you wired under the car is wired with two other coat hangers that were run through the holes in the frame.
You have more anti freeze on the drive way then in your radiator
The worst day of the year is when your inspection expires
You have a child booster seat behind the driver's seat to keep it upright
The vinyl roof has been replaced with duct tape.
Your car's value is in direct propotion to the amount of gas in the tank.
You can't remember if you used the bungee cord to hold the bumper up or the trunk lid down!
Intead of counting the stars you count the rust holes
Little kids point and say "Mommy, what's wrong with that car?"
Your hubcaps consist of one stock, one custom, and one from a completly diferent car you found on the side of the road, and one is non-existant
Your not sure what the original color was
Your hood emblem is long gone
You bribe the emisions test guys
Your kid wont let you drive him to school in it.
It's brown
Your exhuast is made from taped together pepsi cans
Your check engine light has been on so many times that the bulb wore out.
you might be driving a beater if you touch 2 wires together for the horn
kids overtake you on thier push-scooters and skateboards
it cant make it up a hill with passengers aboard
the belt squeal is so loud people look to see if your doing a burn out
Your car burns so much oil it is mistaken for a mosquito fogger.
Some Punk kid without insurance rear ends you and does $1000 In damage to his car and your bumper isnt affected
when ever you turn a corner every one turns and laughs at you
Police don't bother giving you a reason when they pull you over.
If you have to drive dressed like an eskimo in the winter cause the heat don't work.
You have scratched your home phone into the roof so the person who was borrowing it knew your number to call when it broke down.
If the windshield wipers work by manually pulling a string back and forth.
you shop for parts at the dump
your gas cap is a dirty old grocery bag
you drive with the heater cranked in summer to keep the engine cooler
It's got so much bondo it leans!
it doesn't bother you to clean the snow off your car with a stiff bristle shop broom.
its a plymouth reliant
15 minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep your car for 3 days.
Every time you start your car, the local smog index jumps a whole point.
For the last five years, you've had to settle for making "varoom-varoom" noises while sitting in the driveway.
Hitch hikers hide when they see you coming.
Instead of an air bag, there is a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.
Public transportation starts to look good.
The 8-track tape deck finally eats your last tape
The city sends you a notice requesting that you remove the "abandoned vehicle" from your driveway.
The engine burns more oil than gas.
The engine catches fire and you don't notice anything wrong until the firetruck pulls you over.
The local mechanic says that doing a tune-up is just "throwing good money after bad."
There's no oil on the garage floor so you know the car's completely empty.
Thieves repeatedly break in your car just to steal the "Club."
Traffic reporters are starting to refer to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.
Instead of giving you a speeding ticket, the cop drives by laughing
you keep another beater for emergencies
You stop to pick up the mudflaps, because they are worth more than your car.
The fake bullet holes, aren't fake.
You frequently say "Please God" when turning the ignition key.
It dies when you stop at a stoplight.
you drive with one foot on the gas and one on the brakes
When you bump any part of the car with your hand, you can hear pieces of rust raining down under the car.
you look for touch up paint the same color as the duct tape on your car
you've used appliance parts to fix the light/wiper switches
one door is power and the other is manual
your radiater overflow is a 2 liter bottle.
your trunk is big enought to fit all four tires
if you carry a pan to set under the tranny when you park, so you can fill it back up after work
if your rocker paneel is made of a 2x4 and some beer cans
if the grill of your car is off your gas grill
any key will start your car
if you have toggle swithes for everything
its an oldsmobile
if puting your seatbelt on requires you to tie it in a knot
the glove box wont open and neither will the trunk
pushing in the cigarette lighter stalls the car
if...you carry an ice scraper for the INSIDE of the car in the winter time
if...your stereo equipment has ever caught your car on fire
it looks like its doing a burnout when you rev it up in park
you know the exact RPM that your exhaust will fall off
you had to perfect the art of shifting without a clutch
you turn your stereo up real loud and act like the scraping, ticking, and clunking sounds are part of the music
you consider your bald tires to be "racing slicks
your gas gauge is a broomstick you jam in the tank
you use black tape to fix the check engine light
parts originaly held on with 8 bolts now are held with 3
it comes out of a 5 car pile-up looking better
when your bumper sticker reads, "My other car is a Yugo.
Your idea of getting lucky is passing the emissions test.
Starting your car involves popping the hood.
you entertain the idea of cutting the roof off to make a roadster
you been driving for 3 year with no reverse
you leave it running often and chuckle hoping someone will steal it
you complain about the cost of brake fluid
Your car is so old it is forever exempt from having an emissions test.
you carry countless bottles of water in the back seat, and tell your friends you get thirsty a lot, but you know this isnt the deal.
you found it abandoned in the woods

One of Life's Little Joys

2006-04-03T16:30:00.000-04:00

Hot flashes suck. Trying to sleep with the window open in the winter, drinking ice water, using several fans beside the bed, using a spray bottle to mist yourself with water...

No, I don't have malaria/dengue/q-fever/lhassa etc., just menopause.

Wardair Memories

2006-03-30T02:40:00.000-04:00

What Would a Manatee Do?

2006-03-29T23:07:00.000-04:00

Just look at that gentle eye.

Whenever shit happens or the weirdos next door are constructing a puppy mill/meth lab, I just try and think of the manatee. It's a very soothing image. So, I know I'm 'peculiar'.

The manatee can reach 2000lbs, and live to be seventy years old.

Worse and Worse

2006-03-24T18:58:00.000-04:00

So, do you think this garbage dump next door has lowered our property's value?

The charming home of Bruno and Carla -------

This arbor was more or less plumb before they moved in.

Panarama with the "dog kennel" on the left and their brick garage on the right
and God knows what in between.

Note the generous setback of the "dog kennel" from the fence in relation to our and our neighbour's fence.
We do own that fence and 5" beyond, therefore legally that shed must be moved 9" back from the property lines.
Of course, they intentionally damaged our fence and pushed it as far away from their shed as possible.

The "dog kennel", split wood and our old neighbour's aviary (he kept a large flock of homing pidgeons).
Since they've installed a gas fireplace, I wonder what all the wood is for?

I imagine they'll cut down the rest of this vine. In the summer, you can't see the fence through it.

The green building was the aviary.

More garbage - note the large back hoe tire on the right in front of a rubbermaid storage shed.
Surely no one needs three sheds and a garage?

Does this look more like a garbage dump than a backyard?

It's A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood

2006-03-24T03:18:00.000-04:00

A charming family has moved in next door. They've built a dog kennel for "two hunting dogs" (puppy mill) on our property (so much for setback requirements, building permits, surveys), thrown several cords of wood at our fence, and turned their backyard into a garbage dump, although they occasionally burn some of their crap in a wheelbarrel all day and night (lazy bastards), and threaten us with "trouble" (murder?mayhem?) if we "make trouble" (object to a canine prison at least 6" over the property line that looks worse than any 3rd world slum shack). Hello new neighbours, goodbye property value. What did we ever do to deserve this?

My New Hero

2006-03-08T17:56:00.000-04:00

Psychiatrist Could Face Jailtime for Smearing Feces on Parking Ticket

Updated Oct. 8th, 2004, 11:07a.m. ET

Burlington, Iowa (AP) - A psychiatrist made a stink over paying a parking ticket, using dirty money to pay the fine.

Police say Ronald Preston McPike has been charged with harrassment of a public official for smearing excrement on dollar bills used to pay the ticket.

McPike, 52, pleaded not guilty to the charge,a misdemeanor, and was released on a $125 bond pending a Dec. 8 court appearance. He was arrested Sept. 30 at his office in Burlington.

Officers received an envelope in July labeled "Forgein brown substance on bills". The envelope conatined several dollar bills and a parking ticket made out toa vehicle registered to McPike, police said.

Tests indicated the brown substance was fecal matter and indicated the stain pattern resulted from feces being smeared on the bills.

"All personnel that dealt with the bills were offended by what the defendant did," an affadavit said.

McPike told police the money fell into a toilet and was retrieved to pay the ticket, police said.

If convicted, McPike could face up to 30 days in jail and a fine of up to $500.

Apparently, the shitty shrink asked, "What do you expect me to do, throw it away?"

2006-03-06T21:56:00.000-04:00

JellyfishAttack has begun her blog.

It's about time.

Let the boundless wisdom be imparted.